Ravaged
by Lady Infamous
Summary: Raven has her innocence ripped from her by a friend, and it rips her soul apart. When she goes to the wrong people for comfort, she rips her soul to shreds. What happens when those shreds begin to develop a life of their own? Will she ever be whole again?
1. Monster

Raven sat cross-legged in the middle of her dark blue bed. She meditated, trying to push the whole thing behind her. But she just couldn't. No matter what the monks at Azarath had told her, meditation wasn't going to fix this. It was horrible to even mull over. She didn't want to think about it, yet she did want to think about it. How could someone who had been her friend, perhaps her best friend, and maybe more, just suddenly become such a…_monster_?

* * *

The night he had transformed into the ugliest animal he had ever become, her and her fellow Titans were at a party. It was a once-in-a-blue-moon thing at a rich friend's home. They were served alcohol, yes, seeing as they were all almost, or at least 18. And just a quick smile from Robin or Star could get you anything you wanted. So her friends and her had gotten smashed. Her, not as much, but still. Most people had retreated into private rooms in the mansion where the party had been held. Left behind were her, Beastboy, and Cyborg. Cyborg was busy chatting up a drunk brunette on the couch, which left Beastboy and herself on the other couch. Sitting very closely. Okay, they were intertwined, having a drunk make-out session. She knew then, even when she wasn't sober, that it was going to end badly, awkwardly, probably in a flood of tears, yelling, and in their case, broken possessions. But she still went for it, still kept it on. Hell, Robin wouldn't have any right to reprimand them, he and Starfire had gone into one of the private bedrooms and had been in there for a while. So who was he to question 'inter-office' relationships?

Soon, it had gotten very heated, hands groping, reaching for something that was almost there. Beastboy, or Gar, as she liked to call him affectionately, lifted her up, while managing to keep kissing her, and somehow found an empty bedroom and let her down on the bed. They continued their game of reaching, and barely touching whilst exploring each other's lips and surrounding area for a while. Then, he began to change.

The whole experience had been slow, but suddenly, her best friend sped it up all up too fast. It played out in her mind like a old black and white, crackly, and playing screechy, badly mixed music that managed to make it into a horror.

"Gar, no… Let's just…stop for a while…" She asked softly between ragged breaths.

He didn't reply, just continued to ravage her lips. Raven didn't dare let any emotion, fear, natural instinct, _anything_, loose, fearful that the alcohol mixed with the present situation would just end up…bloodily.

"Beastboy," She said with more authority, pushing him off, but he just crawled back onto her, " You need to stop. This is wrong. Robin…"

"Who cares what Robin says, he's in the other room with _Starfire_…" He said inhumanly, savagely.

"Beastboy, this needs to stop," Raven said more hysterically. He was doing things the normal Beastboy, Gar, would never do. This wasn't right, the alcohol…the lights, the faint scent of lavender on the covers, a smell she would shudder at for a long time, the loud music between the walls, the sweat, the stuffiness…

_But I can't hurt him, he's not himself._

_And if I do do anything, let any emotion loose…he could die. I can't hurt my friend…but…_

Raven hesitated, in the moment when she could've stopped the penetration of darkness into her purity.

_**No…!**_

Raven thought, maybe even cried out, as he continued on with her worst memory yet. Having what little innocence she had taken away from her. Forcefully. By a friend.

----

Beastboy probably hadn't remembered his animosity the next morning. In fact, Raven had left the room the next morning, still aching, inside, out, _everywhere_. How would a friend do this to her? Her best friend? It wasn't right, and she needed time to herself, to calm down before she killed someone, at fault or not. Besides, her innocence wasn't anything to brag about, so it wasn't really such a horrible deed, was it?The answer popped into her mind before she could reason against it.

_Yes, it's still a fucking horrible thing. He just fucking _raped_ me, if you haven't noticed. It doesn't matter if you weren't the purest person in the world, he still took advantage of a defenceless female._

_But I'm not defenseless…_

_But you were under the influence of alcohol and fear of doing something equally as horrible. He should have thought about what he had done, sober or not._

_But…_

_Shut the fuck up for once, Timid._


	2. Rage

Standing on the balcony of the monstrous mansion, the building looming over her menacingly, the gargoyles on the roof smirking at her maniacally, Raven shivered, missing her cloak, but not willing to walk back into the bedroom with…with that monster. She needed to do something. Not something like revenge, but something. She needed to tell someone.

_But who?_

Robin, who was busy, or probably sleeping beside Starfire?

Starfire, who was busy, or probably sleeping beside Robin?

No, she would kick herself for ruining their day because of some stupid misfortune like hers.

Cyborg? But he never got time with a girl. He was probably asleep on the couch, alone, but she still didn't want to intrude on anyone.

She would have to wait.

----

Starfire shifted from under the covers, beside her beloved Robin. The man she'd fallen in love with, shared her first 'human' kiss with, and as of last night, given her 'precious gift' to, as roughly translated from Tamaranean. She turned her head slowly to face him, trying not to wake him from his peaceful slumber. She smiled, looking at his unmasked face, remembering seeing his eyes for the first time. She had gingerly taken the secretive black mask off, the last thing she had taken off of him, and looked into his beautiful, piercing blue eyes. She had been filled with joy at that very moment, grateful that she was the first of many years to view his eyes. Last night, they had shone like sapphires, and she would swear that if she could see her own, they would've shone like gems as well.

She and Robin had had a few drinks, enough for normal beings on Earth to call drunk, but with her alien digestive system, and his clear head, they had just wanted the chance to do something they'd both wanted to do for the first time. It wasn't strange and awkward like all the other times. It was just slow enough, just fast enough, and didn't require any speaking at all. They had just looked into each other's eyes, and Robin had led her to this wondrous room. There, they had shed their clothing and had made love...lovingly. That was the only human word the ecstatic Tamaranean could think of to describe it. She stretched herself out slowly, trying not to shake the mattress, but to no avail, Robin woke anyway.

"Star." He smiled gently at her, his blue eyes still sleepy.

"Robin." Starfire smiled back. She felt like nothing could possible go wrong from here on in.

----

"Raven?" Beastboy rubbed his eyes, not believing what it looked like from the bedroom. He didn't remember a thing from last night, but if what he thought happened had actually happened, he was overjoyed. For the past few years, he had felt closer to the half-demon, and had soon developed feelings for her, feelings that overrode any feelings for Terra. He had hoped, for years, that he'd be able to tell her, one day, and pull her out of her ominous misery. Every time he tried to make her smile, she'd push him back, but he pushed on, persistent in his attempts. Maybe, last night, he had been successful. He smiled to himself out of pure joy.

Raven turned around from the balcony, a robe loosely tied around her waist. She looked solemn and emotionless, like she was trying to hold back a wave of emotions. Beastboy took it as a _positive_ wave of emotion.

Wrong.

"_Leave_." Raven stared at him coldly.

"What? Rae? But what about last night?" Beastboy asked, his eyes pleading, his mind confused.

"That's _exactly_ why you should leave. Now go. _Get out_." Every word shook with fury. Raven's eyes narrowed dangerously.

"Rae? Wh-what happened? Didn't we--?"

"You want to know what happened? _EVERYTHING_. You are such a horny, over-sexed _pig_. Get out of here, _now_."

"What? What did I do!? Rae, I _don't_ remember!" Beastboy shouted back, feeling tears well up in his eyes. What had happened?

"I told you to get the _fuck_ out of this room. And if you don't within the next 5 seconds, I will send a chair through your head." Raven threatened. She looked like she fully intended on going through with her threat.

"Raven, please, let's talk about this! I'm sorry if I hurt you! Raven, I care about you, and I'm sorry for whatever I did to you! Please, just calm down! Raven!" Beastboy yelped as he dodged a flying chair hurtled straight for his head.

"_SORRY_?! Sorry doesn't cut it, Beastboy. You…you…you took my innocence away, you _STOLE_ it, and now you want me to calm down and _TALK_ about it? " Raven laughed maniacally, sending a drawer at him.

"Rae, please, just.." Beastboy stood his ground.

Raven hurtled the entire dresser at him, knocking the door open with it, and sending Beastboy flying out.

"AND STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!" She sobbed.

----

Beastboy cringed as he caught sight of the blood on the carpet. He clutched at his head, looking for the source. His head throbbed as he brought his fingers down, sticky with scarlet blood, the colour clashing wildly with his skin.

Beastboy wanted to cry. It wasn't the pain, he could take that. But in a way, it was the pain. It was the pain of hurting Raven, the one girl he'd every loved with all of his heart. The girl whose smile lit up his day, and whose presence made him smile like a goofball. Raven, whose cutting words usually just seemed to egg him on, encouraging him to make her laugh. Raven, whose monotonous voice he lived for.

He couldn't remember what had happened last night, but he regretted it with all his heart. From what it looked like, Beastboy knew Raven was justified in her reaction. _He_ would've killed _himself_ if that'd happened.

_Raven, I'm so sorry. _

He held his head in his hands and wept quietly on the stairs.


	3. Split

Raven sat on the edge of the bed, feeling anger throb through her head, her arms, everywhere. For once in her life, she didn't want to restrain it, she didn't want to hold back; she wanted to let loose, destroy everything in sight, and scream at the top of her lungs. But she stayed sitting on the bed, her logical inner self taking over, spreading like a cool cloth wiping down her entire body. Raven closed her eyes, and tried to calm down. Breathing heavily, she passed out.

----

Beastboy sat on the stairs for a while after his tears dried. He could not, for the life of him, remember what had possessed him to commit the crime that he appeared to have committed.

Suddenly, a hand landed on his shoulder. A grey hand.

"Raven?" Beastboy asked, turning around, "Raven, I'm so sorry. Please, I wish I had never done that. If I could've ever taken it back, I would. If you were to kill me right now, I wouldn't mind. I would completely deserve it." He said in a rush, completely earnest.

"Beastboy, you're hurt." Raven looked at him with wide, wan eyes, and completely ignoring his apologies.

_What_?

"That's…that doesn't matter, Raven! I'm sorry!" Beastboy protested, completely confused.

"You're bleeding! And whatever are you sorry for? Here, let me just…" Raven laid her pale hand on his temple. A flash of hot and cold, and the skin was good as new.

"There." Raven smiled. But for once, Beastboy's heart didn't soar. Instead, it stayed grounded in his body, and pumped confusedly. Why was Raven being nice? Had she completely forgotten that he…_raped_…her? Beastboy could hardly even say the word in his head, let alone out loud.

"What happened Beastboy?" Raven asked.

"Raven…you…" Beastboy started almost hysterically.

"Shhh…Shhh…It's okay…" Raven shushed him and stopped his flow of stutters with a kiss.

----

Cyborg woke up to the sound of life. Life, as in people living.; the sounds of hungover teens waking up and making breakfast, putting clothes on, saying sloppy goodbyes. Then, his supersonic eardrums picked up on a sound that was strangely familiar, but one he never thought possible. Raven giggling? The smacking of two familiar lips? Cyborg knew everyone was drunk, hell, _he_ was too drunk to even _move_, but…BB and Raven?

_No_.

Cyborg decided not to figure out the amount of truth behind the odd sounds and drifted back to sleep.

----

(_BACK WHEN THEY WERE FIGHTING_)

Starfire's ears perked up. She heard yelling. After focusing, she realized the voice was Raven's.

"What is it?" Robin asked groggily, albeit happily, from his side of the bed.

"Friend Raven. She is yelling. And…Beastboy. He is yelling as well." Starfire announced fearfully.

"What?! Does that mean…?" Robin asked frantically, sitting up straight.

"Perhaps." Starfire nodded, her eyes wide.

They both rushed out of bed, half clothed, but not unlike the sea of sleeping teens all over the hallway, toward the sound.

Their heads snuck around the corner, just in time to see Beastboy get thrown out of the room, even less clothed than he was. Beastboy sobbed.

_Was Raven the man last night?_ Robin wondered.

"Perhaps we shouldn't interfere…" Starfire suggested quietly so only Robin could hear.

"Maybe."

"But… in case, we should stay here." Starfire suggested, half out of curiosity, half out of generosity and genuine worry.

"Yeah. In case." Robin nodded.

A while later, Raven had come out. She laid a hand on Beastboy's shoulder, and spoke. Beastboy grew frantic and hysterical, and Raven tried to calm him down.

Starfire looked on confusedly. It was like Raven had become another person.

Robin's eyes widened as Raven kissed Beastboy.

He turned to look at Starfire, who, contrary to how he had predicted she would look if this ever happened (tears welling in her eyes, full of happiness), looked completely shocked and utterly confused.

Both their eyes grew wider as Beastboy kissed back, hungry, perhaps, and Raven giggled.

"Perhaps…" Starfire began.

"We should go…" Robin finished.

They snuck back to their room.

----

Beastboy kissed back, completely caught unawares, and giving in like a collapsing wall to the weight of a tree, or, in this case, lust and pure confusion, which blinded his judgement. Raven giggled softly into his pointed ear, causing his drunk heart to soar momentarily before pulling away.

"Raven…"

"No.." Raven kissed him again, and this time pressed herself against him, almost a repeat of their touching and reaching game, but darker, despite her cheerful demeanour. Raven left his mouth and traced her tongue down the side of his face, and down to his collarbone, goosebumps trailing along behind it. Beastboy closed his eyes as Raven nibbled at his neck. He buried his face into the hollow between her cheek and her ear, into her hair that had grown down to her shoulders. He wrapped his wiry green arms around her, enjoying the warmth of her pale body. It was like finding an oasis within all the desert in his life, finally touching Raven. The previous night hadn't counted, his memory had been clouded by alcohol.

Beasboy, trying to talk, almost choked on his own words out of surprise by the amount of desire she roused in him. Out of surprise for the amount of desire he had inside. Surprise for the way he would express it yet again.

He gave up on talking, and they both edged back into the room.


End file.
